All things will work together for your good.

Life sometimes knocks the breath out of you. Now you are standing tall, but in the blink of an eye, you are on the ground, in darkness, searching for a hand to hold you and probably lift you up, but it's too dark. You tearfully and fearfully grope in the darkness looking for the switch, all the while wondering who turned the lights off, and what really happened? You had been so happy, right?
Well, that is what happened to me. I felt like the mat had just been dragged out from under me, like all my foundations had been shaken. (Psalm 11:3) When the foundations are shaken, what shall the righteous do?
I terribly wanted to believe that the gut feeling I had was terribly wrong, that I was just being pessimistic, that I was only being negative, as so many of my friends had kept telling me. I had actually heard those statements quite often up to that time. Something within me had shuttered when I was told that he was admitted in hospital, and I felt convinced that actually he had passed on. Well, I needed to travel back home, three hours by road. Travel, I did.
I could think of nothing else, except that he was gone. Don't get me wrong, nobody had actually told me that he had passed on... It was these annoying, frightful thoughts that kept crossing my mind. He had been unwell, so I should have been prepared for this, yes? No, I wasn't. When I met my mother and she started speaking, trying to prepare me psychologically before breaking the news, I interrupted her with an, "Is he dead?" The words just stumbled out of my mouth. I couldn't handle the suspense. She let out a long sad sigh and said, "Yes, he passed on." I could not believe that he broke the promise. The last time we spoke before I left for school, I forced him to promise that he would not succumb to the failing organs. And he had promised! How could he? I did not cry. Instead I clicked, the now famous nkt! then proceeded to console my wailing younger sister.
I loved him, to bits. But I could not see past the broken promise. In fact I was angry. I wanted to see him and ask him a few questions on what promises are meant for.
That was the most difficult moment of my life. Losing the one man I had known for as long as I had known myself. He was my father, my friend, my confidante, my teammate. I called him dad.
Death has taken away so many people, so many things, and it leaves us broken, lost, confused, hurt, angry, worried, and sometimes poor.
It may come in so many ways, not the one that took away my father. It may be the death of your career, one you have worked for ages to build, and suddenly, someone goes behind your back and it is ruined.
It may be the death of a relationship. This in the form of a breakup or divorce, or even lost contact, probably due to distance.
It may be death of a human being. When a person suddenly loses all form of humanity and turns against you with no emotion, probably in physical, verbal or even sexual abuse.
It may also be loss of a loved one.
All these scenarios are different but they all leave us scarred. I know I was.
After my father's funeral, I thought I needed to go back to my normal life and move on. After all, they kept saying life wasn't over because he had left, right? I was a strong girl after all, or so I thought. I rested for one day and went back to school on the next. I went for class on the next, and I got very pitiful looks from my classmates, the walls I had built against my tears broke. I did not stay, but left for my room shortly after. That is where I stayed for the next month without leaving. I locked myself up, so if anyone came looking for me, they thought I was not in. I did not answer any calls except a few from my mum, when I 'felt like it'. I started thinking of painless ways to commit suicide. I had enough pain as was. I didn't notice I was on a downhill slope, until the day I started screaming and crying, mourning the loss of my father. That was when my recovery started.
I asked the Lord to help me because I could not heal from the pain on my own. This scripture came to mind (Romans 8:28) And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. That was the Word that pulled me through.
There are two things there:
i) loving God
ii)being called according to the Lord's purpose
I know you may have been knocked off your feet by circumstances so painful, you dare not speak them out, lest you lack enough words to express yourself, lest no one listens, lest no one cares, lest they that care fail to understand. But I have good news,(Proverbs 18:24) A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. This friend loves you, and has the power to turn even the most heartbreaking circumstance, the biggest blessing you ever received. Yes, even that which made you shake your head in doubt. Remember Hannah... Her barrenness brought forth one of the greatest prophets that lived. Remember David... His tending the flock and being the errand boy of the family turned him into a king... Remember Joseph, his being sold to slavery turned him into a prime minister.
You too, will amount to something my brother my sister. Trust the Lord to pull you through, and heal you.
Remember that the healing of an emotional wound, like a physical wound is a process. Go through the motions... Cry if you must, it is therapeutic. But never once feel sorry for yourself. Speak the pain out with someone whom you trust, but most of all, tell it to God. He listens and answers(Jeremiah 29:12). He is not a faraway sadistic God who enjoys watching His children living in misery. Rather, He is a loving, caring Father whose ears are always open to your cry, and arms open to receive you, hands ready to uphold you(Isaiah 41:10). Lean on Him and speak life.
Speak life and say, "Even this will work out together for my good" no matter how unbelievable it seems. Eventually it will come to be.