I have often been preoccupied by what people see of me, that I got blind to who I really was. I have so often badly wanted to fit in, that I left my personality at every door I walked into. This guaranteed shallow friendships, ungrounded relationships and an unstable character. I was whoever I was with, my person and flaws carefully hidden. My scent consciously covered. My mask right in place.
I carefully kept my "true self" concealed, even from God, or so I thought. I doubted my friendships because I knew that they were not based on who I truly was. I felt unworthy of love. I knew they loved the person they thought I was. I longed to be told that I was good enough, with my faults and rough edges. I hid from God because I felt unworthy of Him too. My prayers were often shallow, only touching the surface of nothing in particular, lest I go too deep and have to feel exposed.
In one moment of despair, feeling so far from reality and disengaged from life, I sought God. And what He taught me is what I would like to share with you today.
1. He knows you by name.
Is 49:16 See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; your walls are continually before Me.
God knows you by name. What more, your name is inscribed, permanently on the palm of His hand. Not because you were so good you made it to the palm, or you worked so hard and receive that attention as an award, but because He is love itself. He loves you, with your flaws, rough edges, embarrassing history... all of that notwithstanding, your name is engraved on His palm. He can never forget your name.
2. He approves of you.
He created you, in His image. He made you to look like Him. To reflect Him. To reflect His glory. As you are, you are beautiful. With the kinky hair, crooked smile, and sweaty palms. You are approved by He who is perfect.
I was really conscious of my smile because my teeth have never been straight, I'd cover my mouth whenever I smiled or laughed. But oh, how perfect my smile is today, because I know who I take after!
3. Take off the mask
2Cor 3:18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.
It is until we let go of every mask, veil, covering, across our faces, that we shall see, witness, experience the manifold glory of God. When we lay aside every entitlement (which leads to ingratitude and ungforgiveness), every sense of self-sufficience (which causes us to be insubmissive to God and rebellious), every false ideology about ourselves, then shall we behold the glory of God, and be transformed into this same glorious image!
As long as you're covered, you appear to the world as something other than who you are, and you hinder God from working in you. He sees you, but you keep His help afar. He knows your heart needs mending from the last break up, but you tell Him, I'm doing okay, I don't need Your help.
When I laid aside my mask, I saw myself for the first time in a long time. I saw the scars, the tears, the broken parts. I saw the fear, pain and all raw wounds. experience I saw the sin, oh how ugly this was, the lies and pretence. I saw th dissatisfaction and longing for more. I saw the little girl who needed a Father.
Then and only then, did I allow God to work inside of me. It is only until you see your weakness that you can admit you need help, genuinely.
It is only until you see your fault that you can seek forgiveness, genuinely.
It is only until you see your cracks, that you can admit you need moulding, genuinely.
So, what is the mask you're hiding behind? Take it off today and see yourself as you are in the mirror, and let God mend, heal, rebuild all the broken parts, to His glory.
Take off the mask, and let God's light shine through to you. Let His word point out every dark corner in your heart, that needs cleaning up. Let Him in. He is at the door knocking. Shall you let Him in?
He knows that you sinned, even when you deny it. He would like to clean you up. He knows that you are hurting deep inside in places too far for any balm, and He wants to soothe you and nurse you to full recovery. He knows and He sees your silent tears. He longs to embrace you and tell you that He loves you, forever. Will you take off the mask, and let Him in?
Remember: Is 42:3a A bruised reed He will not break, and smoking flax He will not quench
He shall not bind you up and nurse you to wholeness. He shall cause that little spark you have left to come forth as a light to the nations. He shall rebuild you and you shall be rebuilt.
Prayer:
Father in the Name ofof Jesus, I thank You for loving me. I repent for hiding from you and keeping you away from me. I desire to have a fresh start with You. Today, I let go of my inhibitions towards You. I trust You, to heal, mould and transform me. I desire to seehave Your glory and to be more like You each day. I welcome You into my life. Please take over, because without You, I cannot stand. Teach me how to daily submit to You, to hear Your still small voice, and to obey you. I now know that You care. Thank You for loving me though I kept You off. I pray for a fresh start in my life all round, to reflect Your glory. In Jesus's Name I pray, Amen.
Jesus came that we may have life and have it in abundance. Begin that abundant life now, where the glory of the Lord is evident upon you in Jesus Name.
